Dear Prudence...
Ladies...We've all been there.
You meet him and you guys hit it off; go on a few dates, not many, or hang out once or twice and, let's be honest, it's piqued a curiosity in your mind. You look at him and wonder what it's like to be with him...alone...in a room, with the lights dimmed and maybe even some alcohol in your system and a fire in your blood. And then the opportunity presents itself -which could very easily be within the first five minutes of meeting from a guy's perspective. But in the BACK OF YOUR MIND, your gut is always screaming for you to wait.
wait. wait.
For whatever reason. (What's the rule again?)
He'll think I'm easy!
It hasn't been six dates yet, I don't really know him...
How do I know if I can trust him? (You don't)
How do I know for sure if we're going to do the damn thing he won't suddenly fade away? (You won't. No matter if you wait 6 dates or 6 years, there is nothing stopping him from either getting sex elsewhere or leaving you completely.)
Before the events leading up to any X-rated night shared among two consenting adults who are in the early stages of dating, there is usually a typical convo.
You: Maybe we should wait... what if I start to catch feelings?
(Whereas a mature and responsible man would simply say, "Okay. Fine with me." But in the case of....
Him: A) Truthfully, I like you whether we sleep together or not...
B) Sleeping together will only bring us closer...
C) Who knows, maybe we'll both fall in love...
D) All of the above.
E) Some other practiced and usually unoriginal response.
Keep in mind at this time you may not be your normal thinking self, you are in the moment. Deep down inside you desire the affection too. You consider letting your guard down and figure, what the hell! You concur to a wild night of spontaneity trusting yourself and trusting him...and then before you know it...
He doesn't call you back after he got just a small part of what makes you amazing and special but don't ever feel stupid for trusting and giving someone a piece of you. Don't beat yourself up. If he's a jerk, that's his problem and his loss. As a woman you should always treat your goods like royalty, not everyone deserves a taste. But I'M HERE TO TELL YOU SOMETHING YOU MAY NOT KNOW...WHAT'S BETWEEN YOUR LEGS IS NOT... (I'll repeat for those in the back) IT IS NOT THE BEST THING YOU HAVE TO OFFER. And once you really believe that, you'll be ten times happier. You've still got your laughter, your smile, your intellect, ideas, your passions, your memories your dreams, your quirks your charm and they're all just waiting for someone worthy to appreciate THE WHOLE PACKAGE.
SO screw him, you have fun, let it go and move on. Don't carry the pain on your back but always keep with you the lesson. You can always be a little more careful and wait if your gut tells you to. Listen to your gut. But in retrospect you CANNOT, and I repeat, CANNOT beat yourself up or feel like you're less of a person because sex is all HE had to offer. So he was intimidated or blind to all the other things you had to offer, sounds like a him problem. Why should you be sad?
Let's stop reducing women's value to their vaginas, because men do not face the same dilemma in society's eyes. At the end of the day just think about it, and trust your gut. If it doesn't feel right, wait. If it does, don't. But you're NOT a pathetic person if he failed to see your beauty and light (the idiot!)
FOCUS YOUR ENERGY INTO BETTERING YOURSELF AND YOUR JUDGMENT FOR NEXT TIME. AT THE END OF THE DAY
BE HAPPY
BE HEALTHY
AND BE KIND TO YOURSELF WHILE BLOSSOMING! <3
YOU GOT THIS!
You meet him and you guys hit it off; go on a few dates, not many, or hang out once or twice and, let's be honest, it's piqued a curiosity in your mind. You look at him and wonder what it's like to be with him...alone...in a room, with the lights dimmed and maybe even some alcohol in your system and a fire in your blood. And then the opportunity presents itself -which could very easily be within the first five minutes of meeting from a guy's perspective. But in the BACK OF YOUR MIND, your gut is always screaming for you to wait.
wait. wait.
wait.wait.
wait.
wait
wait.
wait
wait.wait.
wait.wait.
wait.
wait
wait.
wait
wait. wait.
wait.wait.
wait.
wait
wait.
wait
wait.wait.
wait.
wait
wait.wait.
wait...For whatever reason. (What's the rule again?)
He'll think I'm easy!
It hasn't been six dates yet, I don't really know him...
How do I know if I can trust him? (You don't)
How do I know for sure if we're going to do the damn thing he won't suddenly fade away? (You won't. No matter if you wait 6 dates or 6 years, there is nothing stopping him from either getting sex elsewhere or leaving you completely.)
Before the events leading up to any X-rated night shared among two consenting adults who are in the early stages of dating, there is usually a typical convo.
You: Maybe we should wait... what if I start to catch feelings?
(Whereas a mature and responsible man would simply say, "Okay. Fine with me." But in the case of....
Him: A) Truthfully, I like you whether we sleep together or not...
B) Sleeping together will only bring us closer...
C) Who knows, maybe we'll both fall in love...
D) All of the above.
E) Some other practiced and usually unoriginal response.
Keep in mind at this time you may not be your normal thinking self, you are in the moment. Deep down inside you desire the affection too. You consider letting your guard down and figure, what the hell! You concur to a wild night of spontaneity trusting yourself and trusting him...and then before you know it...
BAM! Shit happens...and when it does it tends to unravel quickly.
Now it's happening,
the excitement,
the passion,
the thrill,
the heat of the moment...
it's all happening.
....
....
....
But then suddenly, it's not happening anymore.
In fact,
not much seems to be happening with you two
and now you find yourself sitting on the couch alone with a glass of wine and a call log full of unreturned phone calls only answered with text messages of him claiming to be too busy to hang out again...
F%cking Bummer, dude!
You may find yourself thinking, I wish I hadn't done it! I let him have me, I opened up and gave him my all...
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. Stop that thinking, right there! Even if you've never gone through this, you must have a friend who has. BAD GIRL!
SO screw him, you have fun, let it go and move on. Don't carry the pain on your back but always keep with you the lesson. You can always be a little more careful and wait if your gut tells you to. Listen to your gut. But in retrospect you CANNOT, and I repeat, CANNOT beat yourself up or feel like you're less of a person because sex is all HE had to offer. So he was intimidated or blind to all the other things you had to offer, sounds like a him problem. Why should you be sad?
Let's stop reducing women's value to their vaginas, because men do not face the same dilemma in society's eyes. At the end of the day just think about it, and trust your gut. If it doesn't feel right, wait. If it does, don't. But you're NOT a pathetic person if he failed to see your beauty and light (the idiot!)
FOCUS YOUR ENERGY INTO BETTERING YOURSELF AND YOUR JUDGMENT FOR NEXT TIME. AT THE END OF THE DAY
BE HAPPY
BE HEALTHY
AND BE KIND TO YOURSELF WHILE BLOSSOMING! <3
YOU GOT THIS!
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